The Baseball Desert

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

When you live in a foreign country, one of the things you get used to is people getting your name wrong. It used to worry me a lot that the French could neither spell nor pronounce the name "Iain", but ten years here have mellowed me a little, so now I answer to pretty much anything - if someone sneezes on the subway, I'll probably look up from my book and give them my best "You talkin' to me?" look...

This problem crossed my mind on Saturday as I was listening to the Yankees broadcasters battling with the surname of Cubs' second baseman Mark Grudzielanek. Since it's All-Star voting time, I thought I'd try to come up with my version of the team. So, for your enjoyment, and the enjoyment of baseball broadcasters everywhere, here is my 2003 All-Star Misspelt / Mispronounced Team:

1B Doug Mientkiewicz (Twins)
2B Mark Grudzielanek (Cubs)
SS Nomar Garciaparra (Red Sox)
3B D’Angelo Jimenez (White Sox)
OF Hiram Bocachica (Tigers)
OF Frank Catalanotto (Blue Jays)
OF Albert Pujols (Cardinals)
C A.J. Pierzynski (Twins)

SP Nick Neugebauer (Brewers)
RP Gene Stechschulte (Cardinals)

There’s only one possible manager for this team - the Angels’ Mike Scioscia, of course. I wish him a lot of luck with the lineup card…