Kiss my a**

David Wells may be many things, but shy and retiring is not one of them. After Major League Baseball upheld the six-game suspension handed down to Wells for his ridiculous ejection on July 2, Wells had a few choice words for the powers-that-be.

In cases like this, the player's club is usually quick to distance itself from the player's remarks, but I do feel that the Red Sox went above and beyond the call of duty in their apology to the commissioner's office:

"The comments made by David today regarding the commissioner of baseball do not in any way reflect the views of the club," the Red Sox said in a statement. "The club believes the commissioner has demonstrated visionary leadership and integrity, and we recognize that his contributions to the game have been enormous. Thus, we apologize to the commissioner."

Visionary leadership and integrity? Quick, somebody call Dan Roche!