The Baseball Desert

Saturday, August 19, 2006

The sum of its parts

8 hours and 40 minutes of baseball +
27 hits +
15 walks +
15 runs +
0 wins

I'm not even going to comment - it was as ugly as the wrapup says. Round about the 4th inning we entered Bizarro Baseball World, a world in which Tavarez is able to pitch 2 1/3 solid, scoreless innings, but Hansen and Timlin combine to give up 7 earned runs in one single frame.

With a bit of luck we'll stay in Bizarro Baseball World for today's game, meaning Bobby Abreu will suddenly stop hitting the crap out of the ball, Johnny Damon will get a standing ovation from the Fenway crowd and then go 0-for-5 and A-Rod will actually make a couple of good plays at third. If we're really lucky, our starting pitcher might actually bring his balls to the park and pitch eight innings of "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!" baseball.

It's not to late to salvage the series, but we've really got to to start playing like we know what we're doing out there.