My kinda headline

I wish I could claim that my secret has finally been revealed:

but unfortunately any hope of keeping up the pretense is dashed in the first sentence of the article - it's Kevin Cash, not Iain Cash.

However, if anyone from the front office is reading this, I'd like to state for the record that, should they be in the market for a no-hit, good-glove center fielder with limited speed on the basepaths, I am ready...