The Baseball Desert

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Voices inside my head

Scene: a darkened apartment on the outskirts of Paris. The clock reads 02:15.

Iain clicks on

(photo: AP)

Summer Guy and Winter Guy (© Fever Pitch) appear. The following conversation ensues

Summer Guy : Shit - a rainout. After I'd gone and set the alarm-clock and everything.
Winter Guy: Hey - s'OK. Maybe we can go get a good night's sleep instead. Y'know - like we do over the winter. Just like regular folks.
Summer Guy: Hang on a sec. Since I'm up, I'm just gonna check some e-mail.
Winter Guy: No - don't do that!
Summer Guy: Why not?
Winter Guy: You never heard of the '15-minute' rule?
Summer Guy: No - what the hell is it?
Winter Guy: Well, it's like the '5-second' rule, only for sleep. If you get up in the middle of the night to watch the game and it turns out there is no game, you have 15 minutes to go back to bed.
Summer Guy: Bullshit - you just made that up 'cos you don't want me messin' around on the computer.
Winter Guy: I'm tellin' ya - it's a fact. You don't go back to bed now, you're screwed.
Summer Guy: Listen, I gotta bunch of e-mails that need replies, and damn work keeps getting in the way of me writing them during the day, so the middle of the night is the only time I have.
Winter Guy: OK, write your e-mails, but don't say I didn't warn you.

A dark bedroom, later that same night. The clock reads 04:15.

Winter Guy: So how'd the e-mailing go?
Summer Guy: Shut the fuck up.
Winter Guy: Ooooh, who's a stroppy one?! You're not getting enough sleep, my friend.
Summer Guy: Hey, one more word and it'll be the last one you ever speak.
Winter Guy: I don't wanna say I told you so, but, erm, I told you so.
Summer Guy: It's's fault. I was wandering around the website and they're like giving away free downloads of games 'n' shit.
Winter Guy: You should know there's no such thing as a free lunch. There's always a price to pay.
Summer Guy: Bloody - taking away stuff that I really want, then giving it back to me in the middle of the friggin' night.
Winter Guy: Yeah - sucks, doesn't it?
Summer Guy: You sure you got no place else you need to be right now?
Winter Guy: Nope - I'm good right here. All rested up and ready to keep you company.
Summer Guy: Lucky ol' me.
Winter Guy: Look on the bright side. Another couple of hours and it'll be time to go to work - problem solved!
Summer Guy: OK. That's all the crap I'm gonna take from you.

Scene fades as gunshots are heard in the bedroom...